#36 The privilege of being a middle class addict
...and the responsibility that comes with that.
I’m an addict. Specifically, I’m an alcoholic but honestly, that’s only my primary addiction. Take the alcohol away and there’s a rowdy babble of other substances and behaviours scrabbling desperately to take its place. I’ve been in recovery for almost two and a half years, but since day 55 of being clean and sober I’ve been open about my problems. I’ve spoken about them on social media, been open about it in real-life conversations and never shied away from even the grittiest details of my addiction and what it looked like. But not everyone has that choice because the privilege of being a middle class addict is real.
It’s a fairly well-accepted concept that addiction, like a lot of other illnesses, often looks and feels different for everyone affected by it. But, how often do we notice that our perception of addiction is likely to be affected by the way those addicts look and sound? For two years, I have spoken openly about my addiction and it didn’t take long for me to realise that the way I looked and sounded made it significantly more palatable.
Social media is a cruel mistress. She takes no prisoners and the people who use it can be a ruthless, barbaric army, ripping apart those who step out of line either intentionally or unintentionally. They do not care to distinguish. They are looking for something, anything, to grab on to and use it to prove that this person has finally shown their true colours, that their whole social media schtick has been nothing but manipulative and deceitful display of charisma designed to manipulate everyone else into thinking she was special in some way. “And look at us,” these virtual vigilantes say, “we’re the good guys, the ones keeping you safe from these confidence tricksters. You’re welcome.”
With this in mind, you would think that a content creator who’s spent years presenting as the honest, no-bullshit voice of parenting, was putting the final nail in her own coffin when she did an instagram live and admitted to being an alcoholic (in case it’s not clear, I’m talking about me!) but that’s not what happened.
What happened was a rush of support and applause for being honest. I didn’t receive one negative comment from anyone about my disclosure. Not one. And that’s saying something when you consider the furore around Kate Middleton currently for innocuously editing her daughter’s sleeve in an image. And, please don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely not complaining. In fact, I am grateful every single day that I was met with that outpouring of kindness and acceptance and tolerance, but would everyone be met with the same response?
This is the point at which I must ask you to pause and breathe because what I’m about to suggest is triggering for me and, chances are if you’re white, female and middle class, then it might be triggering for you too. What I’m about to say isn’t designed to point fingers or lay blame, but it is an exercise in encouraging us to think about our thinking.
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