#45 Stop referring to yourself using this one word...
...and it's not what you think.
Listen, I’m not averse to a label or two. I’m a staunch advocate for pointing at a thing and giving it a name. Not everyone is, and I respect that, but for me, it helps to know that I’m an addict and that I’ve got ADHD. It helps me know myself and it helps me explain myself and navigate my way through this world. That’s not the case for everyone but for me, it works. But, there’s a label I’m hearing people attribute to themselves over and over again - I’ve even done it myself - but I’m here to tell you, after doing some research, I’m not an empath and you’re probably not one either.
If you’re new here - WELCOME - but you’re going to come up against a paywall at some point in this article. I know it’s annoying but keeping some content behind a paywall allows me to justify the time it takes for me to write. Not everything is behind a paywall - you are more than welcome to be a free subscriber and enjoy the article I send out every Monday - but if you can spare £4.99 a month, then becoming a paid subscriber will open up the floodgates on a ton of articles and MiniPods. No hard feelings either way!
“I’m an empath,” my friend tells me, as a sidebar to a story she’s telling about someone who called on her for advice. “Oh, so am I,” I respond quickly because, heaven forbid, she figures out that I’m unlucky enough to have been blessed with just the normal amount of empathy as if, in some way, we are all expected to be almost celestial in our emotional intelligence and capabilities.
But let’s be honest - that’s exactly what’s expected of us these days. You don’t have to scroll for very long to find someone willing to explain how you can tap into the very deepest of your emotional rivers. Speak to any Telepathic Tom, Deep Dick (ahem) or Hippy Harry and they’ll tell you that they’re empaths, or psychics, or intuits or something else equally other-worldly. And, I’m happy for them, I truly am, but let’s keep a few things in mind:
They could be (and probably are) full of shit
Even if they do possess such talents, it doesn’t mean they are ‘better’ than the rest of us
…and perhaps the most important, who gives a fuck?
I’m a lot of things that have genuinely made me consider the fact that I might be an empath. So much so that I did what any Gen Xer worth their salt does when they think they may have a ‘condition’ - I went to Google and here’s what it said.
Tell me you saw it too? Tell me you saw the underlined words that define the term ‘empath’ as a term that comes chiefly from science fiction describing a paranormal ability. That doesn’t mean to say there isn’t evidence to suggest that some people feel things more deeply than other people - of course they do and my youngest daughter is a perfect example - but it’s probably not a supernatural power bestowed upon some and not others.
The UK Therapy Guide states that:
“Although empathy is a relatively common human ability, empaths are people with higher-than-normal sensitivity that only makeup around 2% of the population.”
So, not very many people at all. In fact, I have a blood type that only 2% of the population has and I’m yet to meet another person in real life who has the same blood time as me. They exist, sure, and I have to admit I haven’t asked everyone I ever met what blood type they are but the point remains: it’s more likely someone doesn’t match my blood type than does. You’re just as likely to meet a real empath and yet, ask around and almost everyone will describe themselves as an empath because somehow, we’ve got to a point where not being an empath doesn’t mean you’re normal, it means you’re a sociopath. In fact, while we’re discussing statistics, it’s generally agreed that 5% of the population are sociopathic which means you’re twice as likely to be a sociopath than an empath.
Anyway, I checked myself against a “15 signs you’re an empath” list and this is what I found…
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to You're Never The Only One - Cat Sims to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.